Birthdays - Age is but a number..

It's my birthday tomorrow - I'll be 26 - and here I am, trying to convince myself that birthdays are not all that bad..

 

Throughout my life, I have really enjoyed my birthday - as in an opportunity to spend time with my family and enjoy the day - the presents have never been an important thing for me. I enjoy people all being happy and enjoying the day together. It seems a shame to me, that the only time some people make a real effort, is because it is a birthday - but even so, that one day is meant to be happy and filled with laughter.

 

Tomorrow, I am going to be celebrating my birthday..  But whats changed? This year I'm feeling different.. As miserable as it sounds, I'm really sad that I am getting older.. I still look young, but to know that tomorrow, I will be another year older - that makes me sad. (I know.. get the violins out.. I'm so badly done to.. NOT!).

 

It's an inevitability that age comes to us all and those older than me will be wondering why I am so bothered, but to me - there is something about age that I seem to link with achievement and accomplishment. Whilst I am in no way disappointed with where I am in my life, I just feel that I should be more accomplished in myself by now.

 

I have always liked to plan my life and my goals by year and age and I think that my commiseration comes from knowing that I am not yet able to cross off those things that I had set for each year.

 

All of this was made when I was young and naïve and at the time, the economic climate was much different. In a way, I have succeeded far more by waiting for all of these things because, I don't like to cut corners and settle. I like to do the best and have the best that I can.

 

I have lots of exciting things in my life and I am extremely grateful for it all. I have the most amazing fiancé, family and friends I could ask for. This in many ways is all most people need - my fiancé and I are house buying and wedding planning - so there is much excitement there.

 

The things that I have managed to tick off as a result of the list above remaining is completing my degree and post graduate degree. Gaining my employment and working towards my ultimate qualification next year - which I am more than thrilled about. My career choice has been the focus of the last 8 years of my life - 4 at uni, 2 working and 2 further years (ending next year) during my training.

 

I am extremely passionate about the work that I do and despite the long hours, the stress and the tears (both my tears and client's tears..) I love it all. I have come to love this more over the last few months or so, but that is another story.

 

Writing this has helped me realise that actually, I have a lot to celebrate tomorrow - I will be older (only technically 1 day older than today..) and I will still have everything that I have today. We have lots of exciting things happening over the coming years - why rush it all?

 

I think a little perspective was needed and has been gained by this post. Therefore, although boring for you guys, it has been entirely worthwhile for me. Who knew..

 

Thanks for reading - if you have done. (not the most interesting post - and it isn't even make up related..).

 

LL x